At a time when freedom of expression is being demanded all the time, I take advantage of this space to bear witness to my progressive acceptance of my homosexuality.These thoughts are mine, I try to transcribe them here, at the risk of them going unnoticed or vain, without significance, insignificant.As a dog, I claim the freedom to bark, because that will not prevent the trailer from passing.Why this title which suggests that there would be a choice between two things which are not of the same order.Why write Chibre with a capital letter.Le Chibre, what is it? It is the male sex, the penis, designated by a slang word, with a sound that I like, I also associate with this word a certain size or length, for me a cock cannot be small.I am very attached to this image of the male sex, to the meaning that can be given to it, to the power that can be attributed to it. 'was pulling something out.The penis is present in half of human beings, it can be interpreted as a symbol because it can be missing, even if in truth it is not really missing since women have never had one.But the symbol of what anyway? Everything he was supposed to symbolize has been gradually demolished, to the point that we no longer know today who has one and who does not.While writing this I realize that I am doing an inversion, because the male sex, it is up to men to symbolize that one, by having the biggest ... car, or the biggest ... door - leaves, the greatest ... courage, the greatest ... intelligence or the most beautiful ... woman for example, obviously when they accept to play this role of Phallus representing the power of man, and they can completely refuse, no offense to men.At this symbolization, I have always failed, I go beaten in advance, it is a race to the shallot, in which I have always gone unnoticed.Bad faith:Here, in bad faith, I unroll a construction, rather an elucubration, which might seem logical, of my orientation to prefer the male sex: Very early, from a very young age, I had the impression that I was "endowed with »A right coming from the fact of being provided with this thing that I have between my legs. And very early on I claimed this right, which has earned me every time to be rebuffed, especially by an aunt to whom we did not make it: "It is in the old pots that we make the best soup" "yes, but not with new carrots".I always had the impression that whenever I claimed this "power", implicitly or explicitly from a woman, she implicitly referred to me "go fuck you".What in brackets today I respect to the letter.Not without bitterness and resentment, I gradually buried all claims, which apparently came from me, were null and void, inappropriate.I have always had the impression that women arbitrarily gave certain men the right to take them and others not, when I say arbitrarily it is that personally I never understood with what logic: Always to speak of this aunt, she always defended tooth and nail, an alcoholic husband who cheated on her and beat her.I heard him say: All men are pigs.Hearing this, we can ask ourselves the following question: Can we be a man without being a pig?I didn't want to be a pig.So, for lack of courage, I also buried what I had in the pants, I tried to show a white leg even if it meant becoming a rug, but as Pascal would have said "Who wants to be an angel, do the beast ”: I became a sow to cover, having never given up the male power, I withdrew, I rather left to others the care of exercising it in particular on me, not without a certain pleasure.Recently, I gave up trying to find a logic in the relations between men and women, I sincerely believe that there is none, my thoughts cut each time on this subject, so as not to end up crazy. I simply believe that I have stopped thinking about the feminine nature, it has gone off my radar, little by little women do not tell me anything anymore, like I have never told them anything, I have always been transparent .I am the fallen prince, expelled from the hallucinated paradise promised me by the scepter that I have in my calbute, that of arousing in women, all women, a desire for my magic wand.The end of an illusion or the absence of women in my desire:Reading the above, you might think that I came to homosexuality because I was rejected by women, but it is not.I realize today that this construction is only the fruit of my imagination.For a long time, since the age of 20, I have occasionally cross-dressed, dressing in a sexy way I liked: thongs, garter belts, stockings, skirts, wigs, makeup, provoking the desire of men and reap the fruit of this desire, excited me.Strangely, although at no time had ...

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